Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
