do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Hippo gnu deer
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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