For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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