I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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