I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
