Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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