if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
