he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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