I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
