All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
