Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
