I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
