so that wasnt chicken after all
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
