I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
