And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
