Will you blow on my dice?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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