im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
