Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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