I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The adults are the big ones right?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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