I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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