we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
