Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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