i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
