Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
