If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So vagazzling was a success
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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