Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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