i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
