is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize