my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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