you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize