thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she looked like the before picture.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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