my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
