Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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