it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize