it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize