I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
