i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
