you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He better not be in your backpack
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
