Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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