also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
