Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
