Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
