im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
