He is such a slut. More and more my type.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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