I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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