I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
