Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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