And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
