She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
