ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Little spoons don't ask big questions
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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