i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
