accomplished twins. life is a go
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
