D3 body, D1 cock
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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