Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
