none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
