Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
honey bunches of taint.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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