The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
